Nathaniel Bataniel, what’s your deal?
Did someone walk over your grave?
Are you feeling blue, down in the dumps,
Or did you simply have a close shave?

No, I haven’t been playing poker.
I’m not dead, so I have no grave.
I’m not blue, or visiting garbage,
And, my beard shows that I have not shaved.


Nathaniel Bataniel, don’t be sore.
Don’t give me the cold shoulder now.
I just wondered what was up with you;
I thought you would not have a cow.

I feel only confusion, not pain.
I’m wearing a sweater right now.
You can see both my feet on the ground,
And no human can birth a cow.


Nathaniel Bataniel, lighten up.
This is driving me up the wall.
No one’s so literally down to Earth;
I see that with no crystal ball.

I can’t lessen weight or complexion.
Cars don’t usually drive on walls.
Of course I’m right here on this planet!
And why would you need crystal balls?


I can’t talk about winning a fight,
Or men making and breaking molds.
I can see clearly that I should leave;
That silence is worth more than gold.

There goes Nathaniel, who can’t be beat.
When they made him, they broke the mold.
Despite claims that it’s all clear as mud,
He knew speech has a cost of gold.