WINNER of the Weekly Hilarity Contest 5/15/2020

This week’s assignment was to caption the following photo:

Outlets

Who came up with the funniest idea?

“As a Christmas gimmick the chorus of the constipated electrical outlets did not bring many customers to the hardware store…”
masercot

Congratulations, Charlescot! You made me laugh the most, and are therefore the funniest writer of the week!

I’ll admit: I laughed at almost all of the captions you all came up with. As a judge of winner, however, Charles’ made me laugh out loud! I found others’ puns and wordplays fun and clever; I think the winner simply struck me in just the right funny bone.

If you want a good laugh or several, read the rest:

“Plug me until I bleed gold baby!”
Nitin Lalit

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“Socket to me, socket to me, socket to me”
Di @ pensitivity101

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“Though they kept a ‘side-eye’ on him they could never really tell if Harold was simply singing or trying to poop his pants.”
Tom Darby

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“After three days on the shelf at Walmart, the plugs were scarred for life.”
Trent, with altered photo, here.

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“Oh. You don’t get it? Well you’re clearly not plugged in.”
Dumbestblogger

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“Exclusive! Thomas the Tank’s 3d face replacement scandal. Left the world doubting Santa.”
Ellen

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“Anyone have a light” ?
rts – Facing the Challenges of Mental Health

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“Hey, stock boy, where are OUR masks.”
Doug Jacquier

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“Are you trying to turn me on? You’re going to have to do better than that because we’re more than pretty faces.”
Pete Springer

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“Only a few feathers short of a Hopi mask”
Jon

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“Come on, guys, concentrate! Harness the force and break free of these shackles!”
Ian Kay

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“Hey Joe, who’s the new neighbour?”
“Old flat face here? No price tag see, ain’t no one taking him to the checkout any time soon.”
Ian Kay

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“Hey, this guy says he’s ‘Tamper Resistant’.”
“Not judging by his expression, he ain’t.”
Ian Kay

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“This year’s emoji pose contest featured last year’s losers vainly trying to break the internet.”
Denny K

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When George Conduit accidentally electrocuted himself while trying to fix a malfunctioning depilator for Norma Primate, his overly hirsute podiatrist, he didn’t enter the Hereafter with any particular expectations. As a practicing Nano-Buddhist, he wondered if the stories of reincarnation were true and speculated, without pinning too much hope on it, that maybe an upgrade to something, if not royal then at least statesmanlike might suit him.
The initial segregation of that day’s deceased into religions took place quite quickly due, he later heard to a previous unseemly debate on the merits of purgatory as an alternative to soul based exfoliation as advocated by Polynesian Micro-Daubists. After that, to his slight surprise there was a sub-segregation into modes of demise. He managed to catch a quick word with a harassed looking official, better to understand the reasoning.
‘It’s all about Fate and Choice. We did a survey last year and found most Buddhists were happy if they got there first choice of reincarnation but if that wasn’t available they struggled with how to choose an alternative. We piloted a few schemes and found that if people accepted their Fate, which 90% did, they were happy with their demise and options based around that.’
‘How does that work?’
‘Well, dying in hospital, and reincarnation in a caring environment makes sense. A car accident and maybe you’ll see an opportunity in garage work or a motor dealership perhaps.’
‘What about…?’ But George was waved quiet and told to wait for the counsellor.
Time oozes rather than passes in the Hereafter and so George watched the minutes multiply and disperse like a slow firework.
‘Mr. Conduit?’
The speaker shimmered but that was the only way he or she – that wasn’t clear either – differed from your average service flunky. They wore a rather taut looking onesie which they fiddled with in a way George would once have found distracting but now seemed just part of the backdrop to his new existence.
‘Right well, I’ll get straight to it. As a Nano-Buddhist and given the surge in demises your options have narrowed somewhat.’
‘Yes?’
‘And given you acceptance that small is best…’
‘That’s what Nanoists believe…’
‘…you have three choices….’
George waited. The speaker stared at their clipboard, essayed what might have been a frown but could have been some involuntary facial origami and fiddled with their earpiece. They spoke into their lapel. ‘Yes, look, can I check the options for case 2427 of 20? Conduit, yes?’
They shimmered at George. ‘Won’t be a tick. It’s… Yes? You sure? They’re all rather… you know. Inanimate.’
There was a drifting sense of space seeping away and the speaker coughed and addressed George. ‘Three choices. A ceiling light fitting which gives spectacular views and guarantees some warmth. A fusebox which puts you at the centre of the ring main. Or a three pin plug socket.’
‘They all sound okay.’
The speaker seemed surprised at George’s apparent compliance. ‘You don’t mind? Most seek something a touch more flesh and blood.’
‘Not really,’ said George. ‘It’ll be change.’
‘A change?’
‘I rather thought I’d like to be a statesman but if that’s not possible at least this way I’ll be in a position of power. The socket, I think.’
Geoff LePard

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“The shock and horror as their mother tries to make the sparks fly between herself and every random passerby…”
Writerinretrospect

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“Oh no, did you see the size of that plug!!!”
Deb Whittam

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“😩 Wah 😩 wah 😩 Where’s mommy?”
Ruth Scribbles

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“Everybody together now…ready?”
“We’re ready!”
“🎶PLUG IT IN, PLUG IT IN! 🎶”
Peregrine Arc

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“Apparently this is a new service from the Supermarkets. Its sockets so you can charge up your robotic limbs. But it’s expensive, they charge an arm and a leg for it.”
Gary

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“Oh no! Here he comes again; I can feel those shocks going through me already!”
The Bag Lady

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“The Plastic Heads of Electricity Island”
RawGod

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“One of these things is not like the others…”
RawGod

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Thank you all for the hilarious photo captions! Come back tomorrow morning for the next week’s prompt.

Charlie: Here’s a new badge as proof of your hilarious skills:

HilarityContestBadge

©2020 The writers, and their respective captions.

 

The Weekly Hilarity Contest 5/9 – 5/15/2020

Welcome to the Weekly Hilarity Contest! This week, I’m hosting a basic caption contest!

Here’s your picture:

Outlets

Well, what caption would you give it?

Make it funny, but keep things clean! You have till 10:00 a.m. MDT next Friday (May 15) to enter.

Use the form below if you want. For a more social experience, include your entry or a link to it in the comments. Please let me know if your pingback or entry do not show up within a day.

 

Photo ©2020 Chelsea Owens

Caption Contest: WINNER

IMAG0898

Last Friday I posted this picture and challenged my fabulous followers to come up with a caption. For those who might be curious, I’m fairly certain this was taken in Bountiful, Utah at a Carl’s, Jr. play place.

Thank you to all who entered; you are all winners and get a virtual trophy for your virtual shelf somewhere. 🙂 In fact, here’s a virtual high five from me for commenting and making everyone’s day brighter.

Five

My favorite entry was from Jon, of Missionary Sojourn:

With a growing number of senior citizens failing to make it through the new Daniel-in-the-Lion’s-Den attraction, the zoo felt compelled to institute a new rule.

The other entries are below:

Magicquill: The sign’s wrong. They probably reversed the digits of the number in a hurry.

BibleBloggerGirl: Hmm. Apparently you aren’t “never too old.”

Bladud Fleas: Dear Mr. Blippi.
As you may have already guessed from the alterations, after some consideration, the producers have agreed to extend your contract for a further twenty years. We trust you are making financial arrangements beyond this time as we will then certainly be requiring a much younger man.
kind regards,
KidzTV

Bladud Fleas: Miriam and Darren had always desired original and unique names for their new twins and, as far as they knew, no one in their close circle had yet named their children “48” or “Under”.

 

Mr. Jon, if you would be so kind as to e-mail me at chelseaowenswrites@gmail.com, then I will hook you up with your prize.

Can You Caption It? Free CONTEST, with PRIZES

‘Sup, yo? Back when I attempted to make Facebook a better place, I would occasionally post a picture of something I found and ask for captions.

I even offered prizes.

Today I thought, Why not do that for the blog? I can’t afford to gift people often, however, so this is going to be more of a quarterly/random thing. Yeah, I know that screws up my regular traffic but I’m not really in this for the million hits or whatever.

So, basic rules:

  1. I will post a picture. These are all from a phone or some other crappy source, so no judging my skillz.
  2. You will think of a funny caption/short story and write it in the comments. You will have one week to do so, as the cut off will be midnight of the following Friday.
    I prefer clean comments, like PG rated at the worst.
  3. I will decide who the winner is. Yep, I’m subjective.
  4. I will post who the winner(s) is (are) sometime on the following Friday. You will be happy that you won, or compliment the winner and visit his or her blog. Rainbows will appear and everyone will join internet hands and sing.
  5. I will send the winner information regarding receiving the prize. If s/he doesn’t respond to this request, s/he will not be sent one. I’ll keep it.
    I do not save anyone’s information. I’m not creepy like that; sorry.

If you made it this far down, I’d like to start today. Here’s your picture:

IMAG0898

Have fun!

No entries accepted after 12:00:00 a.m. MDT August 3, 2018. Write something before Thursday night, folks.