Before a company is allowed to release something like tight yoga pants, the sales executives must be exposed to a policeman-style lineup of every sort of person who may end up wearing them -particularly the backside, picking-up-something view.
Sheesh, women. You do know they go more transparent when stretched like that, right?
As I held my sweet little first grader in my arms, I lovingly said, “Agh! Don’t sneeze on my arm twice, then fart on my hand.”
He, of course, just giggled.
Isn’t life ironic, don’t you think?
Although, it’s not so much like rain on your wedding day as
That car that pulls out right when you walk up to its much closer parking space, from where you had to park a mile away.
Only as a Boy Mom will you hear sweet, whispered sentiments, like:
I just swallowed my vomit. I love you, Mom!
But what if I want to bite you?
and, at midday:
(Hopefully. Please tell me girls are different.)
I don’t know why I’m such a pessimist. According to my blood type, I should B+.
I am the mother of four boys. Most days I have a lot of difficulty convincing myself that, at some time in the future, a female is going to be attracted to them.
That’s it. I don’t want to save any more daylight.
Is anyone else here lazy?
No, no… you don’t have to raise your hand.
You can see the world through another’s eyes after a cornea transplant.
Do you ever stay up late because you had something you had to do, then stayed up later dreading how tired you’d be the next day?
No? Oh. Well, go back to sleep then. I’m sorry for waking you with my questions.